"New York, New York, big city of dreams and everything in New York ain’t always what it seems." — Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five

The circus came to town on Monday — with Congressional Republicans playing ringmaster in a field hearing in Lower Manhattan dedicated to shaming District Attorney Alvin Bragg.

“Let’s leave Chicago to the Eskimos. That town’s a little bit too rugged for you and me, you bad girl.” — Randy Newman

For those keeping score at home, it’s now Chicago 26, New York 6.

"Hop on the bus, Gus. You don't need to discuss much." — Paul Simon

Almost every weekday, I take our little daughter on a short bus ride to get to school. And almost every weekday, I’m the only passenger paying for the ride.

“Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into.” — Oliver Hardy

It’s vintage Donald Trump, desperately trying to grab the steering wheel of a story that’s spinning out of his control.

"It gets late early out there." – Yogi Berra

We annually lose sleep like clockwork on the second Sunday of March, fast-forwarding from 2 a.m. to 3 a.m. And just like clockwork, the complaining and the questioning begin.

"Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was." – Talking Heads

They marched down Rockaway Beach Boulevard, just like they have on the first Saturday of March for almost 50 years.

“I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad.” – Howard Beale, “Network.”

Two years into a pandemic and with the world stuck in some sort of profound malaise, it’s little wonder that most New Yorkers are at the end of their ropes. Yes, most of us are still alive, but we’re barely kicking. And if you don’t believe me, let me back up my Eeyore sentiments with some cold, hard stats.

“New Yorkers always sought out the newest and the best in their own lives. As citizens, however, they collectively tolerated a government possessing neither attribute - until now.” – Mayor John Lindsay, Inauguration Day, Jan. 1, 1966.

It’s easy to think you’ve reinvented the political wheel when you’ve just been elected mayor of New York City. Surely you’re a charismatic genius who’s poised for greatness because you won an election. But the path leading out of City Hall’s back door is littered with chutzpah. Witness a parade of glorious mayors who had inglorious endings, from Jimmy Walker to William O’Dwyer to John Lindsay to Ed Koch to Rudy Giuliani, not to mention Icarus-like casualties in Albany that include Eliot Spitzer and Andrew Cuomo.

“If I have a good thing to hand out in private life, I give it to a friend. Why shouldn’t I do the same in public life?” – George Washington Plunkitt

Powerful people are literally running and hiding from NY1’s Courtney Gross rather than answering her questions about the city’s Board of Elections.

“Brian got busted on a narco rap.

He beat the rap by ratting on some bikers.

“Goodnight Irene, Goodnight Irene. I’ll see you in my dreams.” – Traditional

For much of the summer, there’s been a new Bill de Blasio in town. Sporting a Hawaiian shirt at a public pool in Bushwick or a tuxedo at the Met Gala, the mayor discovered a part of his job that he largely overlooked for most of his eight years in office: looking like he loves the city.

“One is the Loneliest Number.” – Harry Nilsson

It was a 14-minute hostage video in which Andrew Cuomo was both captive and captor.

“I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.” – Mickey Newbury

We have arrived. It was a long march from the first day of early voting in this year’s primaries on June 12 to the certification of the vote on July 20, and I think I speak for all of New York politico-dom when I say it was exhausting.

“It gets late early out here.” — Yogi Berra

Remember the charmingly self-aware dorky guy on the presidential campaign trail who wore the “MATH” button on his lapel? Well, it’s time for revenge of the dorks: Andrew Yang may have figured out the political math that could make him the next mayor of New York City.

“You had better learn how to play the game, and I don't mean just the game of football.” – “North Dallas Forty”

I’m a big Buffalo Bills fan.

“Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?” – Clarence Odbody, “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

The short telegram was delivered on May 3 to an upstate drugstore, informing the owner that his son had died very suddenly.

For me, David Dinkins will always be about youth.

This may seem like an odd observation to make about a machine politician who became mayor at the age of 62, but if you looked under the hood of his campaign in 1989, you would see what I mean.

You’re not going to need a kids' table at Governor Andrew Cuomo’s Thanksgiving.

“My personal advice is you don’t have family gatherings, even for Thanksgiving,” the governor told reporters in a conference call on Wednesday. “I don’t want to endanger our families, endanger our friends.”

Last night’s presidential debate in Nashville was a far more muted affair that thankfully didn’t require the mute button.

There were no pardoning of interruptions between Donald Trump and Joe Biden by moderator Kristen Welker, and it allowed both candidates to deliver debate performances that were easily more coherent than their first ugly encounter in Cleveland.

The Reagan Revolution came to Staten Island in 1980 and never really left.

While Democrats outnumber Republicans in the borough, voters there traditionally tilt to the right on Election Day. Richmond County — the borough’s legal moniker — gave Rudy Giuliani his margin of victory over David Dinkins in 1993 and voted for Donald Trump in 2016 while the rest of the city overwhelmingly supported Hillary Clinton for president.

SALT LAKE CITY — To plexiglass-guard or not to plexiglass-guard – that is the question.

While Kamala Harris and Mike Pence will be sharing a stage at Wednesday night’s debate – the plastic dividers between them are almost getting as much hype in the wake of President Trump testing positive for coronavirus last week.

What a mess.

The 2016 presidential debates between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump now look like a genteel cocktail party compared to Tuesday's barroom brawl between Trump and Joe Biden.

Photo: Daniel Patrick Moynihan and Ruth Bader Ginsburg in 1993. Marcy Nighswander/AP.

Standing behind a tiny judicial giant from Brooklyn is a towering senator who was raised in Hell’s Kitchen.

“Should five per cent appear too small, Be thankful I don't take it all” – The Beatles

Long after the daily death toll of the coronavirus trickles down to zero in New York City, its impact will be echoing across the five boroughs for years.

“And now I wonder who’s boss and who he’s leaving behind?” — Talking Heads

Scott Stringer may be running to be the least offensive mayor of New York City — and he could win.

As he exited his office in City Hall for the final time, Rudy Giuliani was leaving on a high note. Not only was he “America’s Mayor” in the wake of the 9/11 attacks, but New York City witnessed 649 murders on its streets in 2001, a number that seems paltry if you turned back the clock to 1990, when 2,245 New Yorkers were slain.

But almost 20 years after Giuliani left office, it’s now clear that he didn’t have irreplaceable crime-fighting powers. Despite the naysayers, the numbers continued to get even better for Michael Bloomberg and then Bill de Blasio. There were 318 murders in New York City last year – that’s 50% lower than Giuliani’s safest year in 1998.

NY1 Political Director Bob Hardt shares his analysis and opinions on the week in city politics.

The Trumpiest moment of yesterday’s Republican National Convention occurred long before Cardinal Timothy Dolan delivered his invocation last night.

Forget about social distancing, Andrew Cuomo is finally ready for his closeup.

New York’s governor brought a mini-version of his COVID-19 PowerPoint presentation to the Democratic National Convention on Monday night, taking President Trump to task about how he’s handled the pandemic.

“Psycho killer, qu’est-ce que c’est?” – Talking Heads

When Bill de Blasio was elected mayor in 2013, New York City’s naysayers predicted our collective downfall, warning that the sun would soon turn black like sackcloth and the bad old days would be upon us.

“Don’t look back, something might be gaining on you.” — Satchel Paige

Andrew Cuomo never met a saber he didn’t want to rattle.

“And it’s all over, baby blue.” – Bob Dylan

Eliot Engel used to be the congressman who would be first in line to get a good seat for the State of the Union address so he could shake the president’s hand. But those handshakes are now long over; Engel’s last job in Washington will be turning off the lights when he leaves his office for the final time later this year.

“I fought the law and I won.” – Jello Biafra

It would take a time machine and a biological miracle, but if Roy Cohn and Harry Houdini somehow had a son, you would end up with Roger Stone.

“If you will it, it is no dream.” — Theodor Herzl

I get it: it’s been a long four months. But do I have to wear a Tom Hanks T-shirt along with my facemask to remind people to ease up on the parties?

“In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” — Erasmus

The biggest float in Andrew Cuomo’s long parade of coronavirus briefings arrived yesterday in the shape of a massive foam mountain:

“It’s political party time, going down, going down.” – Talking Heads

It’s weird writing about Election Night when more than 700,000 absentee ballots could still be out there floating in the mail, a weight heavy enough to tip the balance of any race.

“Gimme gimme shock treatment.” – The Ramones

We’ve had at least 22,000 deaths from COVID-19. We’ve had protests. We’ve had lootings. And today, tens of thousands of New Yorkers will head to the polls.

“Karma police, arrest this man. He talks in maths.” — Radiohead

For more than 50 years, the central political question dangling over New York City has been the safety of its streets and the conduct of the people who are paid to keep them safe.

"The first cut is the deepest." - Cat Stevens

The Thin Blue Line is about to get a little skinnier.

“We’re idiots, babe. It’s a wonder we can even feed ourselves.” – Bob Dylan

At this point, it’s just a matter of time before the murder hornets finish us off.

“Keep your distance. Keep your distance. When I feel you close to me, what can I do but fall?” – Richard Thompson

It’s not always easy to love thy neighbor.

How can it possibly be a good thing when you’re the victim of a crime?

It’s taken me a couple of days to process the theft of my bike and its toddler trailer — along with two stuffed bunnies — on the sands of Far Rockaway and I’m pretty OK with it now.

“I want to live alone in the desert I want to be like Georgia O'Keeffe I want to live on the Upper East Side And never go down in the street.” – Warren Zevon

It’s been one of the darkest springs in New York City history, with 18,231 residents felled by the coronavirus in March and April. That’s like if everyone at a sold-out crowd for a Rangers game at Madison Square Garden dropped dead in two months. Or, if you follow crime in New York City, think of all of those stories about a particularly gruesome murder that gets plenty of attention in our tabloids. Well, New York City has seen 9,532 people classified as homicide victims – for all of the 21st century.

How do you safely run a large jail in the time of Coronavirus? In New York City’s case, the sad answer is you don’t.

On any given day, close to 4,000 New Yorkers are being held on Rikers Island – many of them convicted of no crime while awaiting trial. But being behind bars right now in New York City could be a possible death sentence because of Coronavirus.

You totally get a coronavirus pass if you didn’t notice that Mayor Bill de Blasio unveiled his $89 billion budget last week.

Sure, $89 billion probably sounds like a lot of money, but it’s $3.5 billion less than the city’s current budget. In an age where budgets typically only ever go up, this is already a big deal.

“Honey, I’m tougher than the rest.” – Bruce Springsteen

The Coronavirus death toll in New York City is now higher than what we lost on 9/11. It’s higher than what we lost in 1990 – when there were more than five murders a day, mostly because of crack cocaine.

April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain. – T.S. Eliot

It would have been just another quiet early spring night in the neighborhood if it weren’t for the surgical gloves on my hands.

“Sooner or later, it all gets real.” – Neil Young

Does anyone else remember way back in February when bail reform was the biggest threat to civilization in New York?

When Michael Bloomberg was a nine-year-old boy in Massachusetts, his spiritual godfather died 3,000 miles away in a Beverly Hills mansion with his longtime mistress by his side.

One of the richest and most powerful men in the world, William Randolph Hearst built a media empire across the country and then tried to leverage it into winning the hearts of voters. Serving two terms as a New York Congressman, Hearst couldn’t get further, losing two races for mayor and one for governor. And long before there were presidential caucuses or primaries, there were smoke-filled rooms where Hearst was unable to push his name forward with Democratic fixers as a presidential or vice presidential candidate.

We’re officially in a real-life scary movie today as a deadly virus has found its way to New York City while the nation’s political elite is in full Bickersons mode.

It’s less of a statement about the power of Michael Bloomberg than the weakness of Donald Trump when the former mayor purchases three minutes of prime-time TV last night and almost sounds like Jonas Salk compared to Vice President Mike Pence – at least when it comes to Coronavirus.

Don't call it a comeback.

While he'll never sound like Pericles (unless there's a Pericles from Medford), Michael Bloomberg on Tuesday night gave a debate performance that showed he can actually defend himself when he's attacked rather than looking like someone who took a vow of non-violence before his first debate in Las Vegas.

It’s lucky that the Nevada Democratic presidential caucuses weren’t that close.

More than 24 hours after voters in the Silver State headed home, less than 90 percent of the actual vote had been counted. Maybe that doesn’t sound like such a big deal, but if Bernie Sanders had been stuck in a dogfight with Joe Biden instead of trouncing him, we’d likely be reliving the uncertainty of the Iowa caucuses where both Sanders and Pete Buttigieg were calling themselves the winner for days.

If it was a fight, Michael Bloomberg might have been saved by the bell in Las Vegas.

Looking every bit like a rusty fighter who hadn't been in the ring in more than a decade, the former New York City mayor struggled mightily in his first presidential debate as five more-seasoned rivals swung away at him, hitting him with questions about policing, lawsuits by former employees, and his immense wealth.

It’s Bill de Blasio’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” moment – he finally gets to share the stage with Bernie Sanders, only to get a little laryngitis.

Despite his faltering voice, de Blasio made the trip to Nevada over the weekend to try to talk up his endorsement of Sanders in advance of the Democratic caucuses there this Saturday. Whether voters in Reno know anything about the current mayor of New York City apparently isn’t the point when a former mayor of New York City is gaining steam in the polls. Even if he’s muzzled and a little muted, de Blasio sounds like he wants to be Sanders’ attack dog when it comes to Michael Bloomberg.

If you had just beamed down from the planet Neptune and turned on the television, you might be confused by a new campaign ad that features Barack Obama and a man who apparently was his vice president for eight years, Michael Bloomberg.

We interrupt your Monday-morning reflections about the Super Bowl, impeachment, and the Iowa presidential caucuses to tackle a far-sexier topic: property taxes.

Wait, hear me out! If you’re really concerned about inequities in society and thoughtfully nod along with the mayor whenever he starts talking about “a tale of two cities,” there’s no better place to start than looking at how hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers pay property taxes on their homes, apartments and condos.

Quick, it’s pop quiz time: can you name the last five people who ran the city’s subways?

If you were able to come up with a name besides Andy Byford, you probably deserve a MetroCard made of real gold rather than a plastic one. And while even Byford was hardly a household name in New York City, there’s a fair chance that plenty of straphangers could actually identify him if he strolled through their subway station. (And odds are that he had at some point.)

Devoting a Martin Luther King Day speech in Harlem to telling people to go back to where they come from was a curious decision by Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams, who all but turned into a one-man lightning rod after his appearance at Al Sharpton’s National Action Network.

Speaking about gentrification, Adams let loose on newcomers who – in his mind – aren’t interested in saying hello to their neighbors or supporting longtime local businesses.