“Let’s leave Chicago to the Eskimos. That town’s a little bit too rugged for you and me, you bad girl.” — Randy Newman
 

For those keeping score at home, it’s now Chicago 26, New York 6.

Democrats on Tuesday picked the city of broad shoulders to host their nominating convention over rival finalists New York City and Atlanta. Never mind that Chicago just voted its mayor out of office and its crime rate is exponentially higher than New York’s, planners seem hellbent on throwing their party in the Midwest.

It could be as simple as Democrats not wanting to look like they’re ceding the Heartland to the GOP. Republicans are holding their nominating convention in Milwaukee, less than 100 miles away from Chicago. While Illinois is heavily blue in presidential races, Wisconsin is decidedly purple, along with nearby Iowa, Minnesota and Michigan.

Atlanta may have got shoved out of the mix because of a relative dearth of unionized hotels as well as having a Republican governor. New York? We may have Eric Adams’ swagger, but apparently Madison Square Garden doesn’t have the sway it held when Bill Clinton was nominated there in 1992 and Jimmy Carter had both of his parties there in 1976 and 1980. Its lone Republican convention was in 2004, when George W. Bush was re-nominated in the aftermath of 9/11.

While New York City has held five Democratic conventions, it can’t hold a candle to Chicago, which has held 11. Chicago has also hosted a whopping 14 Republican National Conventions, although none since 1960. Clearly, New York has some work left to do. Maybe bring in other boroughs? Fuhgeddaboudit. Bill de Blasio’s Brooklyn bid went belly up in 2016.

If it were just about logistics, New York City would hold the convention every four years. Unlike some host cities where less-favored delegations sometimes have to stay in hotels in other states that are long drives away from the festivities, even the least popular delegation with Democratic planners (sorry, Idaho) can still be within walking distance of Madison Square Garden.

And why should James Dolan have all the fun with the Garden’s facial recognition technology? Unpopular delegates could easily be given the boot, eliminating the potential of any protests on the convention floor.

While there are endless political calculations about the benefits of holding a convention in one city over another, there’s not a lot of evidence that the host city actually has political coattails. In the last 14 political conventions, the candidate failed to win the host state six times. Hillary Clinton still has nightmares about Pennsylvania in 2016, while Republicans had a four-election losing streak from 1996 to 2008.

So congratulations, Chicago. While you’re not even the “second city” anymore — thanks to Los Angeles — you’re apparently the go-to place when it comes to political conventions. Just don’t even get me started on the pizza.