The police officer who fatally shot unarmed Bronx teenager Ramarley Graham five years ago spoke publicly about the case for the first time Friday at an NYPD trial on whether he should be fired. NY1's Michael Scotto filed the following report.

Outside police headquarters Friday, protesters rallied against Richard Haste.

Inside, the officer took the stand at his NYPD trial and defended shooting 18-year-old Ramarley Graham.

Haste said he never wanted to pull his trigger but feared he wouldn't make it out alive, thinking, "I'm dead."

"Police work is a dangerous, impossible job. And what you can't do is second-guess what officers do under very dangerous situations," said Stuart London, Richard Haste's attorney.  

Surveillance video shows Graham entering his Bronx apartment with police in pursuit.

Haste kicked in a second-floor door and called for Graham to show his hands. When the teen failed to do so, Haste fired once, killing Graham in his bathroom. 

Haste said he thought Graham had a gun, but a weapon was never recovered. 

As he spoke, members of Graham's family shouted, "Liar."

"No, he doesn't have any remorse, and he doesn't look like he has any remorse," said Constance Malcolm, Graham's mother. "Every day he comes into court, he has that stupid grin on his damn face."

The NYPD says Haste violated procedures by entering the building instead of calling specialized emergency services officers.

In a steady tone, Haste said he has thought a lot about that day and believes he followed NYPD guidelines.

"I've spent considerable time wondering about my actions," he testified. "What was he thinking? If he didn't have a gun, why would he aggress toward us in that manner?...I am able to look myself in the mirror and know that what I did was justified." 

A state grand jury indicted Haste, but the charges were dismissed because of a prosecutorial mistake. A second grand jury decided not to indict, and the Justice Department said there was not enough evidence to bring charges that Haste violated Graham's civil rights. 

Closing arguments are scheduled for Monday. The administrative judge here will then recommend whether Haste should be fired, a punishment that will ultimately need the approval of the police commissioner.